“”It might sound a bit ridiculous to lose all your self-confidence over a yellow shirt, but this is basically what happened.”
A little over two years ago I stopped fighting against life and started living it. Nowdays I like to think I’m a very confident person. I also like to think I have a strong personality, I love myself for who I am and I don’t care about how others see me. And this is not just great thinking, I truly believe all this about myself! So can you imagine how disappointed I was when I discovered last week that not one of these things were true for me? Let me tell you what happened.
I went shopping for new clothes.
Jup, that’s what did it. My self-development, growth, confidence and believing in myself was gone, and all it took was one trip to a clothing store. A bit weird don’t you think? So what really happened there?
Well, the day started off great! A wonderful Saturday morning, the sun was finally shining and my to do list of the week was already finished! So my dearest boyfriend Ken decided it was time for me to get some new clothes for the summer. And of course, fantastic girlfriend that I am, I agreed. We had a nice breakfast together and went into town to one of my favourite clothing stores. Happy as a child in a candy shop I went straight up to the sales department. It took me about 5 minutes to find the first 10 items I liked (all black) when Ken asked me: “Why don’t you try on something different for once, like this yellow shirt?”. And that’s where it all changed.
Hello downward spiral! Long time no see!
It might sound a bit ridiculous to lose all your self-confidence over a yellow shirt, but this is basically what happened. After the yellow shirt suggestion came a green one, and after that trousers with panther print (that they only had in smaller sizes than mine)…and with them all the negative thoughts:
“That’s not for me, I will never look good in that”
“I will definitely look fat in that colour”
“I have waaaaaay to much booty for those jeans”
“Maybe if they had it in black…”
And that’s where I had to stop myself.
Stop thinking, take a step back and be true. Why do I always buy dark clothes? I mean, is it true that I just like basic and simple clothes, or is this just something I tell myself? It’s been over a year since I decided I needed new clothes, and even now it was my boyfriend who got me there. And now that I was getting honest with myself I saw that part of it was to hide. Hide my “imperfections”, hide myself and hide the fact that I’m still scared of truly being seen. And I did a good job, because even I didn’t see this un-confident part of myself! Until now. Thank you Ken and thank you yellow shirt!
Key to my self-confidence: Yellow, green, red and purple!
So I decided to get out of my comfort zone and ignore the negative thoughts and feelings for a minute. And guess what? I look awesome in yellow! Also, green and purple suit me. And while I’m on it, let’s get some extra red shirts and a pair of jeans to show off that booty!
I am ready to show myself and be truly confident! Also, I realized this doesn’t mean I won’t doubt myself every now and then. But I have the strength to get over these negative feelings and thoughts. Acknowledge them and move past it. This way I can stay confident, as long as I stay true to myself and buy a yellow shirt every now and then!
Do you also want to have more self-confidence? Coaching can help you! Feel free to contact me for a free 30 minute kick-off call, without obligations!
Katinka van Kan
Student Life Coach.
+31 6 33 20 68 54