“It’s the same story over and over again: just when I got everything figured out something happens and my whole life falls apart.”
So….I took a bit of a journey last week on the subject of self-care. I usually take great care of myself on a daily basis! I work hard, I go to the gym or work out at home, I take time for myself and always make time for my friends and beloved ones. Everything was great. I managed it all and got it all covered! Sounds good, doesn’t it? And just when everything was the way I decided it should be it, happened:
I went into a complete breakdown.
It started with physical illness. Some type of flu. I was extremely tired, couldn’t eat…just miserable. But hey, it is flu season isn’t it? I’m starting to think that it’s always flu season though… but okay, this meant that I couldn’t do anything in the household or for work. I tried keeping up my Instagram feed, but it didn’t really work: together with my body my mind stopped working too.
I had to skip a few dates with some close friends and felt really bad about it. And I couldn’t get a mother’s day present, which made me feel even worse. After two days I just felt behind on life and even though my boyfriend Ken took good care of me I felt like things were missing in our relationship. I just couldn’t believe this, it’s the same story over and over again: just when I got everything figured out something happens and my whole life falls apart.
And there is nothing I can do about it!
Or is there?
This week I assisted during the last coach training of Creative Consciousness© NL. Since it was the last training for these soon-to-be coaches, I was really committed to go, and so I did. I’m really happy I did go, and grateful for all the valuable lessons I got out of it. I want to share the two most important ones with you.
Self-care is not the same as taking care of yourself
Taking care of yourself doesn’t just mean that you should take some time to dye your hair or get a massage. Sure it’s part of it, and no life changing insight in the world will ever stop me from going to the spa! But, if you take some “me” time that doesn’t necessarily mean that you can tick the self-care box for the week.
For me, self-care doesn’t just mean taking care of yourself physically. It means care for all parts that make you, you. Care for your physical health, heart (love), work, mind, fun, social life and family. This is the total package of your life, and if you neglect even one of these areas you can easily end up in a breakdown that will have a negative effect on all of them. Just like I, luckily, had to experience once again last week.
It’s all about the balance
My second insight is that it’s all about the balance! Like all things in life your self-care needs a healthy balance so it doesn’t fall over. For me that means finding a balance between giving and taking. Make sure you give enough time to you social life, but also make sure that you take enough time away from it. A better example might be family. You need time with them, but sometimes it is really good to have some time apart! 😉
So yes, I look after my physical health, which also means having a few beers and the occasional pizza in the weekend! (#balance) I give love every day, and also make sure that I’m able to receive it. Now I really can care for all parts of myself, and enjoy receiving care and love, as much as I want to give it. This way I will not miss out on everything that Ken gives me, and I can make date-night a thing again!
That is if he’s willing to receive my flowers ;).
Do you also want to work on you self-care and balance in your life? Coaching can help you! Feel free to contact me for a free 30 minute kick-off-call, without obligations!
Katinka van Kan
Student Life Coach.